12/14/12 11:07am – 1/2/13 10:33pm
wherever they aren’t
(what is becoming of me has always been coming to me)
feel free to quote me.
not because i will forget, but rather to
remind me of who i was after my
shadow casted is no longer recognizable.
like the friends i’ve lost touch with
please send my regards.
wherever they aren’t i hope they are
happy to not be there.
who i am now can not speak for who i
will become, but at the moment who i
am is fine with how the course is being
ran.
fine with the lack of ownership over
the walls i rest between.
fine with no forseeable grandchildren
to offer my mother & father.
facing in a direction completely inward
with little to show for it.
aware of only what brushes against
my body from within these pockets.
always having a moment to spare.
never having a moment too dull.
with no sign of stopping for a quick
way to break the silence.
but only a fool would believe he has
any more ownership over who he is
than over the walls he temporarily
rests between.
i had little say in the enviroments
production of me & will have little say.
my only choice in the matter whether
to breathe through my nose or mouth.
from the weighing of my options
watch the way i work transforming
i’m slipping into the morning
on my back into adoption
into the first glimpse of a state
where she doesn’t keep me around
to write about making her wait
instead of coming to lie down
or into the last name taken
with inheritors to awaken
after following thirty-three
turns out to be them chasing me
& let me be the first to say
what’s coming will be the day
that I regret wishing the grey
would come much sooner than late
every instance that could be chalked
up to pure coincidence.
but is now known better than to insult
what is well designed.
every ounce of luck that i’ve squeezed
into half empty glasses to tip the scales.
but not knowing who to begin asking
what will be the catch.
what is becoming of me has always
been coming to me.
& every measured ounce & instance
moves what will closer to what is.
by the time i come back to this i may
be reading it for the first time.
but no sense lies in watching grass
grow to kill time until hair does the same.