by window my mirror – 3/29/13

3/29/13 5:03pm – 4/30/13 1:15pm

by window my mirror
(truth serum)
(the least at center)

i can see more than what
they are doing backwards
it speaks to me louder
than carefully packed words

by window my mirror
is running it all by me
translating body language
that in reverse i see

i can see her; who’s staring
longer than she’d like to admit
there’s a lone eye fixated
on where it is i sit

i can see him; who’s sighing
letting one out for her
of those caught in her attention
he is the least at center

to the outside looking in
i stare blankly by window
they can see i am staring
but at what? they do not know

between me & my sleep – 3/29/13

3/29/13 12:52am – 3/29/13 2:42am

between me & my sleep

i thought i was tired
but i guess i was wrong
i am up asking why?
but my guess is this song

i’ve only just begun
& already i beg
if these hands are joking
to stop pulling my leg

it’s never that simple
don’t count on counting sheep
i am the only one who
stands between me & my sleep

how will i know to end
before it runs too long?
i thought it wasn’t time
but i guess i was wrong

breaking the fourth wall for him – 3/16/13

3/16/13  9pm – 4/9/13 9:09pm

breaking the fourth wall for him

you said it with a straight face
you took me for a ride
how’s a girl supposed to tell
if the mouth you’re moving lied?

if he gave off any sign
i didn’t pick up on it
it snuck out the other ear
& is hiding in a sonnet

you got your story straight
you took me for a fool
it goes without saying
i know where to find the wool

whatever i am missing
is a couple steps ahead
he knows how tall i am
is why it was over my head

blaming it on a birthmark – 3/12/13

3/12/13 1:26pm – 3/17/13 1:40pm

blaming it on a birthmark

of course it will grow back
that is what hair does best
but until then i’m stuck
with what you’ve done in jest

if anyone asks
i’m blaming it on a birthmark
if anyone asks
I’m putting it all on a birthmark

at least back my answer
when they start to remark,
“has that always been there?”
by blaming a birthmark

i could have sworn – 3/11/13

3/11/13 2:45pm – 3/13/13 8:32pm

i could have sworn (that you were)
(while she is on vacation)

where is it you know me from?
the thing is we’ve never met
it’s pretty embarrassing
it must be that you’re brunette

from behind you where i sat
i could have sworn that you were
but after saying hello
you don’t believe that you’re her

can you be certain your not
just an impersonation?
& that you’re not filling in
while she is on vacation?

are you prone to amnesia?
or selective memory?
can you really rule these out
as possibilities?

do me this one small favor
by looking back to your tree
i hear that this kind of thing
can run in the family

said the glass door – 3/9/13

3/9/13 12:42pm – 3/12/13 10:05am

said the glass door

you’re walking towards me
as if you’ll pass through
it’s that you can’t see
what you won’t view
you’re looking past me
i’m looking at you

checking out is not a victim-less crime
why don’t you watch where you’re going next time?

a word of advice
was what you walked through
next time you’ll think twice
not taking in the view
it wasn’t nice
running into you

slip into the morning – 3/4/13

3/4/13 2:20am – 3/6/13 12:18pm

slip into the morning
(a claustrophobic response)

there is a difference between the black
painted to the back of my eyelids & the
black found with open eyes in areas
deprived of light.

with open eyes a near-undetectable
adjusting occurs.
with closed eyes if i’m not careful i will
slip into the morning.

with open eyes a claustrophobic
response forms in what appeared vast.
with closed eyes i can easily watch
spots float around the back of my head.

a proper exhale – 3/4/13

3/4/13 12:57am – 3/6/13 3:15am

a proper exhale

“you’re so small” is what she said to me.
maybe i should give her a proper exhale.
to put an end to the charade i’ve been
keeping up.

only now that we lie side by side in complete
darkness do i dare to release what i’ve carried
sucked in all day.
there is a tenderness to my insides.

it speaks of the compressed organs now
dented by body fat.
who knows what kind of internal damage
i’ve done.

three three thirteen eleven fourty-four pm – 3/3/13

3/3/13 11:44pm – 3/4/13 12:26am

three three thirteen
eleven fourty-four pm

why do the rhymes have to fit just so with the next?
why do i torture myself with this task?
all to fulfill a prophecy that was probably hatched
just to make it easier for the listener to memorize
the writer’s words.
i am compromised from the start without realizing it.
& have unconditionally commit myself to it blindly.
i don’t know why i ‘insert relative analogy’.

she decided the course of my night in answering no.
“i have to pee. do you want to pause it?”, i said
springing from bed.
maybe i had not consciously decided whether i’d like
to stay to watch or leave to write.
i know that then & most times i do not possess the ability
to say what i’d like her to do.
so i phrase it in the form of a question that serves to make
her answer with a guess at what my body was really trying
to tell me.

“no, i can keep it running” she answered.
“are you coming back?”
i said something along the lines of, “i thought so”.
i very easily could have sat & watched alice in wonderland.
i’m sincerely jealous she is watching it really.
here she comes now.
“hey cody..”
“huuuhhh?” (a closed lips or close lipped response)
“hey..are you alright?”
“yeah, just shitting & writing”
“some more than the other”
“haha, okay”

i had to close with wit to draw attention away from having
been locked in the bathroom for the past fifteen to twenty minutes.
maybe ‘i chose to close with wit’ would be the better way of phrasing it.
three four thirteen.
twelve twenty-six am.