supposed reoccurring events
i often dream of supposed reoccurring events.
i am uncertain if these moments transcend
dreams or if they are written with back-stories.
i think that actual reoccurring dreams are realized
outside of slumber, but these are questioned while
in a dream state.
just as close
i am so far away from the place inside
myself that could bring someone
else into this world.
yet i am just as close to doing so as
the ones who wish to.
having to worry about my offspring
who don’t exist surpassing me.
stepping off my head to see what my
mistakes could not reach above.
9/28/12 11:14am – 9/28/12 11:50am
there is a problem with asking questions
that may lead others to believe i am untraveled.
if i take them to a a place that seems so what of it?
who am i to them now that i was not before?
what am i to myself that i risk nothing to be portrayed
he rests on the shoulders of his own perception.
standing with an empty plate outstretched toward an
offering it nothing in return that others may acknowledge
this statue while not knowing what it means.
9/28/12 10:48am – 9/28/12 12:31pm
one in; one out
my chair rests on a cafe patio too near the doorway.
i believe i would be just fine if it were not so.
sweat only drips slightly from my brow.
a drop here and there that i am required to wipe.
as if to say my hand was fall itself gradually erasing summer.
upon the entry of each patron i too am greeted by the escape of others.
they are the only to be unseen, but believed.
they are a gentle reminder of the cool filtered air that lay just inside
and they don’t seem to forget where it is i sit.
it is by their hand that I wish to trade this near-perfect weather,
sounds of others commutes, and sight of man’s often over looked
endeavors for a hand-crafted comfort zone.
“there is a reason I sat outside”, is what finds it’s way out of me.
“I’m not as comfortable as I could be, but if I were then what of me?”
9/28/12 12:55pm – 9/28/12 4:02pm
it might not be until three that i see
that without which we know makes the hungry
do bodily harm by gnawing on arm
which sounds the alarm to the funny farm
now i look for them
these sights are often looked over,
but only because they are to be seen
day to day by all.
i don’t think it should diminish their
it should turn a mirror on ourselves as
the desensitized walk of life that we are.
the fact that this is possible is a wonder
of the world itself.
that boredom could arise at all is a
damning thought to make out.
that love could continue to grow
between partners while the two pieces
of flint that first struck bare no spark
is a concept i do not claim to live,
but rather live in fear of it’s existence.
9/22/12 11:10am – 9/29/12 4:15pm
to speak in chime
i look for her face almost every time
keys touch one another to speak in chime
they signal her arrival to a room
before i catch wind of her perfume
they’ve robbed her the element of surprise
they’ve trained my subconscious to recognize
when she rings that bell water fills my eyes
to drain my salivating brain
i look forward to these experiments
of romantic keys & catching scents
simply because they hold within
my masters return for me again
they hang from purses that have come & gone
they have always been & will go on
to chime whether i’m so forth and so on
or another he eventually
9/22/12 4:48am – 9/22/12 5:51am
leave the door unlocked
if you could please
leave the door unlocked
it isn’t the hour
to be feeling shocked
because i’m afraid
you’ll do a terrible thing
moreso i worry
never again will you sing
something that you
can’t live to regret
it will mark the moment
I’ll start to forget
i’ve hid sharp objects
you may befriend
just in the case
you decide to end
call me selfish
but it’s killing me
to think when i wake
what couldn’t be
i really wish you’d
just get undressed
unlock that door
& get some rest
i’m at a screening for a film by an ex-girlfriend.
the movie opens with what appears to be a town built around a swamp as it’s backdrop.
very soon it’s apparent that i’m watching a d-movie horror flick.
the cast happens to be made up of some people i know personally.
including her own mother who sports lousy un-dead make up and tattered clothing.
after the movie finishes it seems that others share my sentiments.
my actual girlfriend and i stand in between the rows of seats trashing the still warm film.
i notice my ex-girlfriend is standing within earshot of our conversation after i’d been going
on and on about it.
embarassment seeps over my body.
it starts with my head and slowly drips down like syrup until every inch is accounted for.
suddenly i’m on an airplane headed home sitting between my girlfriend & ex-girlfriend.
my ex is the only one comfortable enough to make conversation.
she goes on about a harmless magazine as she skims the articles and looks at the pictures.
in front of me sits a very obese, white, cajun, bald man with a goatee.
he isn’t morbidly obese, but more an out of shape bouncer body type.
everything he does starts to annoy us.
he is being loud, obnoxious, and completely inconsiserate of others.
i lay my head forward against his seat in hope that sleep will come to assist in my escape
from this reality.
he counters by laying his big fat bald head on my own.
somehow it is able to wrap around and lay it’s full weight on my head.
i actually try to see past this and continue on with my attempt at slumber.
after a couple minutes enough is enough and i slip my head from out below his.
i’m so angry at this point i start lashing out to get his attention by sticking an already chewed
bite from my on-flight meal to the back of his head.
as soon as he realizes he is furious.
i can’t even make out what he is yelling through his exaggerated cajun accent.
luckily for me neither can the flight attendant who’s ears perked at the sound of
his disgruntled yelling.
she threatens, “sir, we are going to have to make an emergency landing if you can not calm yourself”.
his word vomit seems to grow only louder to drown out her repeated ultimatums.
she is fed up and ends the conversation with, “we will be landing soon sir. security will be escorting
you from the aircraft”.
the man, somehow more furious, “jumps” out of his seat and storms to his overhead compartment
opposite his side of the plane.
he returns holding a rifle; screaming as does everyone else who catches sight of the weapon.
there is so much panic and he cuts through all of it heading straight for me.
his rifle leads the way as his hound sniffing out my location.
i drop out of my seat on my hands and knees begging him to not end me right then and there.
for a moment he takes the crosshairs off of me to keep my girlfriend in line.
i sieze this one opportunity and grab the barrel of his gun; pointing away from both my girlfriend and i.
we struggle for control of the firearm while walking down the aisles in tandem.
shots fire as he attempts to inch the barrel closer to my face.
an unlucky woman’s face is grazed by one of the bullets.
from all of the blood you would never guess it though.
i somehow manage to pry the gun from his hands after a long dance.
immediately i strike his head with the butt of the rifle.
i wait as he has a long fall to the ground.
as soon as he lands flat i continue my bludgeoning.
not solely out of anger, but more the fear of him getting up again to hurt my girlfriends or myself.
when i’m done the rifle looks like a chewed up straw and the man..something much worse.
i leave the scene to check up on both my girlfriend and ex.
while walking back through the aisles i see the girl who was shot is having her wounds dressed.
everyone appears to be as okay as one could be considering the circumstance.
i head back toward the mess that i made and see that the bald man’s daughters are standing over
his body as a doctor checks his obvious status.
his face looks like a blank canvas.
no eyes, nose, or mouth can be made out even with the blood wiped away.
just a shape with ears.
the doctor tells them, “it looks like there will definitely be disfigurement”, and their crying worsens.
before i can finish saying, “I’m sorry”,
9/14/12 12:58pm – 10/22/12 3:33am
take his nosebleed as a sign
(the expected bouquet)
it’s easy to see in the nosebleed section
who the ticket holder really puts first
but it’s only when this show of affection
has him seated in a different location
than his better half is he at his worst
no stranger to the expected bouquet
she’s surprised he tries musical theater
two thousand five hundred & fifty-five days
seems long enough to put money away
for the obligated to celebrate her
he squints to see the stage while she squints to see him
just a matter of time before the house lights dim