6/16/13 4:12pm – 6/23/13 6:51pm
my father’s lunch on father’s day
completely forgetting the conversation i’d had the prior evening i sat there
debating over whether or not i could afford my father’s lunch on father’s day
rather than being thankful that i could eat lunch with him.
i spent the first half of the meal really struggling internally , but you know
ultimately i settled on not treating him.
treating him for what would have been the very first time to boot.
out of my head and back to the table i noticed that a couple tables over,
my uncle by complete coincidence, was seated with his daughters enjoying
their own father’s day meal together.
hello and hugs were in order and afterward we were back to our respective
tables to finish our meals.
when the check landed and i didn’t motion my father hesitantly took it,
but not before joking that someone else should be getting it.
we shared in a nervous laugh as we exited the booth to make our way
to the cashier.
we gave my uncle and cousins a single wave goodbye from the both of us to
avoid what is often repeated in hellos & goodbyes.
after he payed and we made our way out the door i payed him a more suited
goodbye for a father on father’s day.
we made loose plans to get together both knowing they’d fall through.
we parted and i lingered behind over a post-meal cigarette when my uncle
and cousins walked outside.
wearing such a proud look on his face he told me that my younger cousin had
picked up the bill and that it was in fact the first holiday that had been the case.
i felt the lowest while smiling through everything that had been said already
in hello.
hoping there would be another chance to get the check.