lose this day – 8/?/12


lose this day

my mouth is finding out what I’m thinking when my mind does.
never had a conversation with the intent of fixing something make me feel so bad.
for someone who considers themselves to be one of my best friends you somehow could not be further off base with my personality. you should stop listening to your gut. like an elderly person out of tune who can’t relate. it’s frightening how little you actually know about me.
i would never do what you did to me
i don’t know that i’m turning left until it happens. i spend all my time hiding it just to now have to explain it to you. collecting my thoughts just to spill them all at once.
i had to get out of that place.
why didn’t i say it then?
it hardly makes sense to say it now.
it can’t be considered a comeback.
i don’t need you to build me up.
i overheard someone say it feels like the walls are caving in. you are making me feel crazy. i don’t feel comfortable talking with anyone right now. i’m trying to take myself out of the situation, but it feels like quicksand. the window is closed.
do you feel accomplished?
your perceptions of me as a person are..
i don’t feel very good about us.
i’m not sure if that conversation helped you,
but the more i think about it it hurts me how shady of a person you think i could be.
i’m not trying to catch you off guard.
not looking for an apology.
no friend of mine has ever tried to dissect.
i’m not sound as of now.
i want to lose this day.
the dog asleep.