Author: Cody Swann

8/15/14 9:04pm – 8/15/14 9:07pm

this note

regardless of where i’m at in my head remember this note:
this song, that drink, this drink, that dress, this suit, that kiss.
this note.
now you’ll have to excuse me.

7/25/14 9:11pm – 8/5/14 9:43pm (8/11/14 6:36pm)

last meal of a nail biter iii
(take what robin did as a sign)
(take what eddy said as a sign)
(take what sarah said as a sign)
(take what the radio said as a sign)

iii 
my mother’s son

now’s as good a time as ever 
if ever i was going to
now i know i said i’d never
but now i might be going through

is it better to sleep forever?
to never wake on the other side
i’ve chewed it over however
you never know until you’ve tried

i could chew it over forever
but now i’m out of nails to chew
whether or not i said never
it’s never or now; the choices two 

my god, would you believe what i have done?
was always my mother’s; finally my father’s son
my god, would you believe what i’m capable of?
was always in me to hurt the ones i love

7/7/14 10:35pm – 7/9/14 5:02pm

hidden was the favor
(it wasn’t in bad taste
that i did her the favor
it’s a fact she hasn’t faced
of time and losing flavor)

why won’t she just thank me
for making it easy
for her to forget the
good light in which she sees me?

why, i think she’d thank me
for my bad behavior
if she’d look closer to see
hidden was the favor

the favor she would see
if she did regain her sight
is having him only
bathed in rose-tinted light

i think she should thank me
by taking it easy
on light shed that can be
changed with the eye that sees me

i don’t think she’ll thank me
when all of this passes
but maybe one day she’ll see
it’s not the light it’s the glasses

7/4/14 12:59pm – 7/18/14 11am

sighing i’m saying
(cake iii)
(take her sighing as a sign)

if you insist i fall in love
that is just what i will do
all i’m asking in return of
this is that you’re able to

but if there will never be wind
to catch love’s bell and make it sing
just tell me now you’ll never lend
love your ears to hear it ring

i’ve said it now one too many times
but i won’t say the word again
it’s until in you that love’s bell chimes
that i too will be heard again

but if there will never be wind
to catch love’s bell and make it sing
just tell me now so i can mend
these two ears you insist ring

sighing i’m saying i love you
but now i keep it to myself
and until i feel that you do too
it’s there i keep it on my shelf

but if there will never be wind
to catch love’s bell and make it sing
just know you were a means to an end
that was great at starting things

(the many cakes i bake
are laying on the table to
leave them or to take
not to have and eat them too

with where all you have been
and what all you have seen
just when will you say when
to what still comes between
you, cake, and what you mean
ten years after fifteen)

6/22/14 9:13pm – 6/26/14 7:28pm

said the glass door iii

she doesn’t look to me
not anymore anyways
she may just pass through me
if her walk matches her gaze

she wasn’t meant to be
not with me anyways
so why on earth she drew the
line i can not say

she’s walking towards me
as if she’ll pass through
it’s that she can’t see
who she won’t view
she’s looking past me
she’s who i look to

she doesn’t look to me
for anything these days
she doesn’t want to see
me through this passing phase

she’s walking towards me
as if she’ll pass through
it’s that she can’t see
my point of view
i wasn’t meant to be
some line she drew

6/8/14 2:44am – 7/2/14 9:58pm

like rain smells
(petals devour)

overwatered flower your petals devour
every single drop i will let fall
it hasn’t been an hour since your last shower
and already petals still wet fall

overwatered flower how is it now you’re
again making me the undressed one?
i’m still not sure how your wet petals devour
but i know that it begs the question:

what do i taste like?
like rain smells
what do i taste like?
like rain smells

overwatered flower where is your will power?
oh where oh where can it be?
without it our garden’s one flower
oh where oh where can it be?

what do i taste like?
like rain smells
what’s from your waist’s like
like rain smells

6/3/14 1:33pm – 6/16/14 3:48pm

of recent age
(savannah, 
you are right to hurt
you are right to say
whatever it is
you think of today
but come tomorrow
promise not to say
that i never looked
at you in that way)
          
of recent age i re-met you 
it began again with your name
in between us all became new
in replace of what’d been the same

i couldn’t  plan to become him
i couldn’t know you had been her
but cut off you’re the phantom limb
that’s gone missing from my center

of recent age i retraced you
we began again once i came
to the conclusion we both knew
began again with your name

love’s decent cage is what made him
it fell on me then me for her
it’s descent took the afraid him
and returned this to show you’re her

4/5/14 9:07pm – 4/18/14 5:38pm

on a scale of one to deaf
(*another truth)

on a scale of one to deaf
she’s not hearing me at all
when she could be picking up
she’s appearing to take calls

when she could be reading what’s
clearly written on the walls
she’s pretending to hear what
on her deaf ears i’ve let fall

these are going over her head
but not because she isn’t tall
when she could be getting it
she’s not getting it at all

*for another truth:
replace “she” with “he”

3/29/14 11:39am – 4/26/14 3:43pm

look together
(waiting on her verse)

to have and to hold
with this ring i thee wed
to be my lawful wedded wife
to her all this he read

as for us this we said:

do we look together?
do we look the part?
do we look together 
although were apart?

to have and to hold 
wasn’t how we made the bed
it’s what they’re laying in
not for better just instead

do they look together?
until death do they part?
do we look together
although we’re apart?

3/29/14 10:13am – 7/27/14 4:28am

boyish wave
(pruning in a past)
(dedicated to goods that have since been damaged)

i 
to my own thoughts i’ve become a slave
swimming in the wake of a boyish wave
i was dipping my feet, but got carried away
further and further from the way that we’d pave

i was dipping my feet, but got carried away
with heavy thinking when the ground finally gave
out beneath the weight of knowing her ways
and with it i’m sinking to a watery grave

what should be a given to be forgiven
just should be forgotten to be forgave
i’m pruning in a past that sex had driven
swimming in the wake of a boyish wave

iii
to her own thoughts she’s become a slave
trying to save me the watery grave
i was dipping my feet, but got carried away
further and further from the way that we’d pave

i was dipping my feet, but now she’s splashing my face
hoping one can wake from a boyish wave
i was sipping my last drink now she’s splashing my face
hoping who she’ll wake is worth while to save

what should be a given to be forgiven
just should be forgotten to be forgave
she’s pruning in a past that sex had driven
trying to save me the watery grave