the absurd short-term – 1/10/13

1/10/13 1:24am – 1/10/13 9:14pm

the absurd short-term
(gravity; ivory keys)

she cant remember what it was
before she woke she was thinking of
she just remembers the sudden sound
gravity; ivory keys; books hitting ground

the second my grip just let it drop
i realized it was too late to stop
the second spent in a state of shock
kicked down her door without a knock

it took her out of the space inside
where the absurd short-term gets left behind
it took damn near a heart attack
but already she’s on her way back

cayton st. I – 1/9/13

1/9/13 11:27am – 1/9/13 12pm

cayton st. I

there’s an empty grey-green warehouse with a wooden bunk-bed against it’s back wall.
the bed’s top bunk holds dark throw pillows, a talking cobra, & a talking hand inside a sock puppet snake.
on my right (the two snake’s left) is an open wall which leads out of the warehouse to the driveway of
7610 cayton st. houston, tx 77061.
the snake & “snake” taunt me as they slither between the throw pillows.
i do my best to behead the cobra with a tennis racket, but everytime come up short by..the hand of sock snake decoy.
the cobra, distracted by it’s own taunting, leaves me an opening to move in for the kill & i do.
intermission.

only calling – 1/9/13

1/9/13  12:10am -1/9/13 3:17pm

only calling

i’m only calling to distract myself from writing
while driving.
you were my way out & you couldn’t be there.
i can’t expect you to drop everything just to help
me home.

these fluids that drip from me onto the page &
then onto the floor are only mine to slip in.
now tell me why i could never control it starting
before & why i can not control it stopping now.

she asked me, “more coffee?”, at precisely 6:54pm – 1/9/13

1/9/13 5:06pm – 1/9/13 6:54pm

she asked me, “more coffee?”, at precisely 6:54pm

i came here to eat today like i’ve done almost every
week since i was nine to ten years old.
but today i may actually tip more than a dollar.
i’d never met lucy before but i’d like very much
to make thisa regular thing.
she gave me plenty of time to make my executive
menu decision.
even though my stalling was merely a plot to consume
as many chips & salsa as possible in one sitting.
i got my space to “deliberate”, ordered my grease burrito
with a soda  & requested a refill on my chips and salsa.
she must have known what i was up to, because my order
got to me quicker than one man could possibly finish a
second basket of chips.
no refill for me, but a touché for her.
i downed the meal with my left hand pruning from the
grease run off & my right hand pruning from the
condensation of my glass.
“what a girl!”, i thought.
“i’ll be sure to tip her how i feel” (two dollars was all
that i could spare).
“was everything alright?”, Lucy asked.
“yeah everything was great. could i just get the check
and a basket of chips?”
she obliged and i continued with my regiment of
dissapointment in a basket.
i got to reading & chomping and very soon an
hour slipped past me.
“would you like anything else sir?”, said a voice.
only this time it wasn’t lucy.
it was a waitress i had grown less & less fond of
over the years.
“no i’ll be fine, but thank you”, my body cried out
in submission at my loss to  chips.
i was just about ready to work what i once called
a body out of the chair.
“okay, well let me know if you need anything”,
she squawked while scribbling on my receipt.
she walked away and i snatched the receipt.
she had scratched out my lucy’s name and beside
it written in her own, yvonne!
finally a name to the service i so wished to avoid
everytime i stopped in.
but more importantly how could she think she
could pull one over on lucy and just take her tips?
i was obviously winding down and wouldn’t be in
need of her assistance!
i couldn’t imagine lucy having done anything to
deserve it so i assumed yvonne must be the kind
of lady who’d sell her own wedding band to keep
the lights on.
“i just wont tip!”, i said to myself.
but could i be certain that the tips would not go to lucy?
the worst thing that could happen would be to not tip
and lucy never want to wait on me again.
i’d only just met her.
i cant let this already be the end.
i did some critical thinking and concluded that i
couldn’t risk not tipping.
if yvonne had the nerve to say she did more than just
wait to take my tips then god damn it i’ll make sure her
name is written in bold letters on that receipt.
for lucy of course..
i finally waved yvonne down after a few failed attempts
naturally.
“i’ll have a coffee, some chips & salsa, and a new receipt please”
i tipped A dollar anyway.

honest up until recent – 1/8/13

1/8/13 10:44pm – 1/9/13 2:46am

honest up until recent

as you, ladybug, crawl all around my
hand you point out the parts of me
more sensitive to touch.

with my eyes closed i can see you
through contact crawling from my
pointer finger toward center palm.

with my eyes open i find it hard to
believe your getting around on my palm
without the slightest sensation triggered.

your weight registers as worthy of
reporting to only a percentage of limbs
considered honest up until recent.

the memory buried alive – 1/8/13

1/8/13 10:30pm – 1/8/13 3:07am

the memory buried alive

items you’ve attached meaning to
may fade from you slower than those
without, but all will fade just the same.

only through illusion does the memory
triggered appear to be above the
memory buried alive.

resting on fragments of last night to
make-up for this days dragging heels
puts us in no position to absorb.

the most fun you can have thinking of your parents having sex – 1/7/13

1/7/13 2:34pm – 1/28/13 1:34am

the most fun you can have while thinking of your parents having sex

supposedly I was on purpose
or so I have been told
but I am not so certain
since she was nineteen years old

my father the dealer
was twenty-three at the time
from the cradle did he steal her
but sentenced for the first crime

how a jail turns out a father
that I will just never know
when most women won’t bother
with dates held over the phone

but between those calls behind glass
to the time he came & she went
they could not have been thinking fast
if true I was no accident

only doubt him doubting himself – 1/5/13

1/5/13 2:12am – 1/5/13 2:23am

only doubt him doubting himself

why would it stick around with you
doubting it ever having existed?
if you don’t believe in it the body
will shut down it’s drive to look for it.

nobody will ever care about what’s
yours as much as you do.
so why would they even try to pretend
if you dont?

there is irony hidden somewhere in the
man that doubts himself.
he may not always know what he
means, but let it mean nothing less.

not a step will be worth taking in any
direction by the man who doubts himself.
only doubt him doubting himself.

the two children tested – 1/5/13

1/5/13 11:09am – 1/5/13 11:58am

the two children tested

from this morning to early afternoon
i’ve walked with both shoes untied.
there is no deeper meaning to be
discovered within these words.

stare at the surface and see the flight
of stairs i could have fallen down.
tripping on either shoe’s laces while
descending half-asleep.

see the two children tested sitting
beside me at the cafe.
i would not blame them for tying these
laces together when i make it so easy.

from this early afternoon to lunch
still i sit with both shoes untied.
there is no deeper meaning.
only shoes that fit just as well untied.